Connacht, Munster, Privilege and Gratitude

Good afternoon to you all, hope this finds you well. I'm feeling very luxurious, just set up my tent and windy enough to properly do the laybag, so I'm basically lying down on an outdoor chaise longue, and hoping I can finish this long post before it starts raining again. Because I really don't want to get up.
Travelling by bus from Galway to Ennis, the landscape totally changed quite suddenly ...from mountains to rolling greens....like going from the lake district to Shropshire. So many borders are utterly arbitrary and totally ridiculous, but I could really see where Connacht ended and Munster began....two of the four ancient provinces of this island. The trees, the light, the landscape- all very different.
I left Galway rather damp from drizzle, and quite emotional...I visited the Cathedral....possibly the most beautiful building I can remember seeing...I lit a candle and said a prayer for my mum, and then went to the riverside and tied some red thread to a tree. maybe that's hedging bets but I prefer to see it as honouring her beliefs and my own. Whatever, I was quite tearful and got sympathetic looks from a kind looking group of American tourists. I went to O'Maille's in Galway, got a bit of sea coloured wool for the blanket and met the ray of sunshine that is Tania who works there and her impossibly long green nails (I didn't ask how it affected her knitting- that would be an impertinently personal question). She said I was lucky to be making this journet as she would never be able to carry all the stuff that I am carrying and walk so far with it. I know some very strong (and not just physically) women who certainly could, but what she said got me thinking about my privilege, something that has been in the back of my mind a lot in planning this journey.

Of course I do have male privilege. Would I be more worried about a female friend camping and travelling alone than a male one? Yes- but not because they couldn't, but because I'd be worried about other people. I know that's actually statistically illogical, as men are much more likely to be physically harmed by strangers than women....but a woman doing this trip would be faced with so many more discouraging messages than I have been. Also travelling alone, I've gone into pubs alone, walked in the dark alone ...I think those things are more daunting and actually frowned upon for women to do. Women are consistently blamed for bringing it upon themselves when bad things happen to them...and this is something that makes my blood boil! And it is nothing to do with our biological differences...it's patriarchy, and it's deeply unfair.

Of course I have white privilege too....privilege because of the ridiculous and negative racial stereotyping that exists, and means I can behave in ways which would be treated with mistrust and suspicion had I darker skin. However, in rural Ireland, it seems much more multiethnic than rural England. And there is no shitty 'I'm not racist but I am a total prick' political strong force in this country like in the rest of Europe (with the exception of Iceland and Portugal I think...maybe west is best in many ways!). I met one racist old git here at a bus stop, moaning about how the 'coloureds' get preferential treatment in hospitals in Galway. He must have been about 80, so I think it's safe to say that the health system hasn't exactly failed him. I am often assumed to be a 'foreigner' though, in rural England, and even London many times... Spanish, French, Turkish most often...and sometimes not very nicely...you're not really British are you? But you know, I'm very privileged not to have to face that and far, far worse every single minute of every single day and many people in Britain do have to live with that crap. Here, nearly everyone that has opened a conversation with me has done so by asking if I speak English. I don't think it's because they take me for a monolingual Irish speaker. But not once has that question had any edge of mistrust or disapproval.

I've also got gay privilege. I think it's pretty evident to most when I move or speak...And it might seem strange to say privilege when it's something that has exposed me to abuse and violence several times in my life. But I think a straight man would be much more likely to be mocked or disrespected for doing an art and craft journey. I'm also much more likely to have interesting, good conversations with women, and be approached by them for obvious reasons.

The list goes on. I grew up in a time and place where education was free. I had the chance to learn languages. Of course they are skills for which you have to do the work yourself, but books were free, school was free and accessible. Plus I had a father who was a fluent Russian speaker, and could converse pretty well in several other languages, so of course I was brought up with the belief that learning other languages is good, and opens you up to New experiences. My dad passed away 26 years ago, but my gratitude towards him has and never will go away.

I'm also so grateful for having a kind and caring lover who supports me and shows so much concern for how everything is going for me here. Me and Shame had some awful downs over the last year...but we got through. It's hard enough for a sensitive human to live with their own self, let alobe live with another...and I'm grateful for his kind and supportive messages, and his trust in me being away from home. It means a lot.

And I'm very grateful to my lovely family and wonderful friends....the feeling of missing people may be painful at times, but it's a good thing and a lucky thing to have people you really do wish we're here.

We can't do anything about the privileges we have...we didn't choose them....but we can recognise them, and try and live to work towards a world where they have less significance, nowadays some doors will never open for some, but are automatically open for others. But you can't spend your life in guilt about having privileges either.. because nearly all of us have some privilege...we just need to remember and feel grateful. What would be very very stupid would be to vote to have your priveleges taken away....I doubt many people in Britain who voted for just that really thought about that. And they didn't just vote to have their own taken away, they voted to have all of ours taken away, and it's very hard to not feel resentful about that....I don't know how we are ever going to heal the schism this has caused anytime soon. Aside of the obvious privileges of an EU passport...all my data and mobile costs are the same as if I were in the UK. And that doesn't just affect communication...it's maps, without which I'd have walked a lot further and got a lot wetter. The roaming charges which will reappear in March would mean I just won't be able to do a trip the way I have this time next year. And nor will any other British citizen...

Financially, I'm not wealthy but enough people believed in this project to commission and donate and here I am...I'm incredibly grateful for that, and just grateful in general...spending time travelling alone, you realise how connected and dependent you are on all the webs of this world....I didn't make my tent, I didn't build the roads, I didn't develop mobile technology, I didn't invent crochet.....so much to be grateful for. Excuse my language but I'd love to say a huge Fuck You to Richard Branson, Alan Sugar and the like. They aren't self-made men, they are deluded and arrogant- other people's work made them wealthy. In a way, I pity the ignorance of men like this. Could you live in a world where you thought you were superior to everyone else? I couldn't...no one to inspire you, no one to thank, no one more interesting than yourself to meet...how boring. And of course, we shouldn't forget to tell Amazon, Starbucks and the like to fuck off too. The state and teachers educated their workforce, the state and people built the infrastructure, the post office workers are living in fear of redundancy....And yet they won't pay tax. As Midnight Oil (actually about a much more serious issue) put it: 'The time has come to say fair's fair, to pay the rent now, to pay your share'

Anyway I have rambled on again....will be back tomorro with the very bizarre story of what happened to me in Ennis, and the hopefully more banal story of what happens today in Bunratty!

Love and light to you all (except you Mr Sugar, and you Mr Branson-and definitely not to you Pauline Hanson!)
Billy xxx